2. Jason X (2001)
The year is 2455. Jason is discovered cryogenically frozen after being captured in 2008 by the United States government; a shift in narrative that makes little to no sense given the finale of Jason Goes to Hell. But this is a film that cares little about sense, and for an entry in the vein of Critters 4 and Leprechaun 4: In Space, it doesn’t expect you to. Kane Hodder makes his fourth appearance as Jason turned Uber Jason (actual name), and similarly to his prior embodiments, elevates the level of sheer physical terror.
This is a film that takes a 6’4” behemoth and crams him into the claustrophobic confines of a futuristic vessel. Not only is Jason uber, but the sex is kinkier, the dialogue galactically moronic, and the deaths more inventive. After all, David Cronenberg’s own special effects regular James Isaac stepped behind the director’s chair, placing an emphasis on not only Jason’s kill count, but the methods in which they are disposed. A woman gets her face frozen from liquid nitrogen before it’s slammed to pieces. Jason recreates the sleeping bag kill from New Blood in a glorious use of holographic manipulation. Decapitations, electrocutions, and a Jason Goes to Hell bear hug are all used as means of dispatching 25th century nubile co-eds. Did I mention there’s a femme-cyborg who fisticuffs our primordial cyber-slasher?
It’s corny, cheesy, and it works as that go-for-broke entry that knows exactly how ludicrous its posturing is. Despite drawing in the lowest numbers at the box office of the entire series, Jason X is that flimsy, artificially polished entry that feels like a SyFy channel movie that’s been destroying the counsellor job pool for over two decades; and it’s exactly what we need.