TV reviews

American Horror Story: Cult 7×09 – ‘Drink the Kool-Aid’ – Review

Any illusions of Kai as an all-knowing, intelligent leader with a master plan are seemingly out the window, if this week’s episode of American Horror Story is anything to go by. The episode is “Drink the Kool-Aid,” but it may as well be “Drunk with Power.”

Through a series of flashbacks, we see Evan Peters play a variety of cult leaders like Jim Jones and David Koresh. Kai is telling his devoted followers about how these leaders got people to die for him, and would his men do the same? His devoted followers, by the way, have transformed from Fight Club extras to the most homoerotic slumber party you will see. A room full of twenty-something hunks in matching onesies and sleeping bags, listening to Kai tell them a good night story. It’s actually hilarious, even more so when one of them raises his hand to ask “Are we a cult?” Oh honey. Yes, you are. Get your pants on and get out of there.

Kai invites his four lady followers to join the rest of the group and drink some poisoned Kool-Aid. While the bros are mostly ready and willing to die (minus one, who refuses the Kool-Aid and gets shot for his troubles), the women are all distraught. Beverly bawls and begs, Winter seems confused mostly, and Ally and Ivy are terrified but seemingly back on the same page. It’s a fake out of course: they can’t die, Kai is running for senate! His stint on city council is going great (he literally bullied everyone into voting to block the internet) and he’s ready to move on up. Pretty much everyone watching at home knew this was a fake out — why would he kill them all now? — but for some reason, everyone seemed to really believe they were about to die.

Stupidly believing something that is obviously fake seems to be the theme for tonight! First, Ivy stupidly believes Ally has forgiven her for JOINING A CULT AND ATTACKING HER WITH CLOWNS and that they’re going to be a big, happy family again with Oz. Ivy also stupidly believes she should eat this home-cooked meal Ally prepared, mere minutes after the Kool-Aid incident, even though Ally isn’t eating a bite. Once again, everyone knows where this is heading except Ivy. It is satisfying to watch her die as her actions (joining a cult to trick your wife into going crazy to steal your son away from her, and letting multiple people die in the process) are pretty much the most heinous and she absolutely deserves the painful, elongated death she’s served. Ally seems hellbent on revenge and now it looks like the rest of the season will be her enacting that revenge on everyone: finally, someone with an end game.

Kai has taken an interest in Oz, for whatever reason. He’s convinced Ozzy that he’s his biological dad, and tells Ally that he used to donate at the sperm bank she used. Oz loves it. “I want to stay with daddy!” Oz clearly has some major issues that need to be worked on, if one afternoon with a blue-haired man living in a basement claiming he’s your dad is enough to win him over. Hope Ally’s got some money saved for therapy, because Oz is going to need it.

Ally does some digging (and bribing) at the sperm donor clinic and finds out that Kai is not Ozzy’s father. However, she changes some paperwork around to make it look like he is and then presents the evidence to Kai. Here’s the Messiah he had been looking for! Kai tears up, can’t believe he made this baby. He had just been bluffing, but it was true! Oz was his kid! Now he and Ally can rule the cult side by side as they raise their little prodigal son!

So basically Kai’s a moron now. He wants a messiah (for a reason that still has not been explained) and is willing to suspend all disbelief and accept that Oz is it. Ally tells Kai everything he wants to hear: you’re special, I knew it before I even met you, this is amazing. He buys it, hook line and sinker, and now Ally has the upper hand.

Oh, and we STILL don’t know why he and Bebe were working together two episodes ago. Will we ever? With two episodes left, will Kai’s master plan finally come to light? It’s becoming less and less likely that this season will end in a way that satisfies.

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