TV lists

Star Trek – Really Terrible Pitches for Picard’s New Series

We were really excited about the announcement that there’s going to be a new Star Trek series, separate to CBS All Access prequel series Star Trek: Discovery, featuring Patrick Stewart as Jean-Luc Picard. We heard that so far no story has been decided upon, so our writers thought they’d throw around some ideas and pitches for Picard’s new show. On Thursday we brought you some ideas we’d like to see in the new series. Here are five that didn’t make it out of the gate…


Murder, He Holodek’d

Jean-Luc Picard, former Captain of Starfleet, has now settled into becoming an author of famous murder mystery Holodeck stories. Living on a calm, welcoming planet that houses many different races, Picard often finds himself solving a murder that rocks this small idyllic community. He gets involved with the local Sheriff’s department, butting heads with the wise old Bajoran Sheriff, Tyra. But they end up being a very good crime-solving team – and thus week-by-week Picard and Tyra solve a murder, whilst Picard also gets ideas for more Holodeck mysteries. – Matt Latham


Q-Time Leap

When the entity called Q suddenly reappears in Picard’s life, longing to recapture the ‘fun’ of their past adventures, Picard is less than overjoyed. When Picard refuses to willingly join in with Q’s antics, Q snatches him from his time and casts him adrift in time and space, sending him to various places and times that interest Q to see what Picard will do. With all of time and space as Q’s playground, Picard must do what he can to keep the timeline that he knows intact whilst finding a way back home. – Amy Walker


Judge Jean-Luc

Jean-Luc Picard, now retired from his space-faring adventures, has taken up a position as a Judge, settling disputes for the United Federation of Planets. His tough adjudicating approach has become the stuff of legend, and people flock from far and wide to sit in the public gallery and watch as he verbally takes down Ferengi warring over personal loans, Cardassians suing over slander, and Bajorans complaining that they never got that shovel back that their neighbour borrowed last summer. It doesn’t compare to being a Captain, but he gets to be a hell of a lot more sarcastic.


The J-Team

In 2382, Captain Jean-Luc Picard was sent to prison by a Starfleet court for a crime he absolutely did not commit. Picard promptly escaped from a maximum security space stockade to the Qo’noS underground. Today, still wanted by the United Federation of Planets, he survives by drinking his tea, Earl Grey, cold, and making it so in exchange for gold-pressed latinum. If you have a difficulty, if no one else can help, and if you can reach him by combadge, maybe you can hire the J-Team.


Last of the Summer Bloodwine

Having retired completely from Starfleet, Jean-Luc joins two other eccentric and scruffy ex-captains to bum around Earth. The three of them get into all sorts of scraps and scrapes, including frequently sliding down the Yorkshire Dales in a tin Enterprise, free from all cares and responsibilities – Wendy Attwell

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