The King sits atop his throne, Top Gun breaks the billion barrier, The Black Phone is answered, hearts flutter for Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, and Other Box Office News.
So, I’d been busy this past weekend having a long overdue great time with my friends which meant that, whilst this edition of the BOR is going up on its usual Wednesday post-date, I hadn’t the chance to pen it until Tuesday lunchtime rather than my usual Sunday eve/Monday morn period. But I did do my due diligence and kept checking in with how things were looking over at the Box Office as the weekend progressed where things got spicy!
If I hadn’t been preoccupied going mad in a field on Sunday night – and then sitting stock still in a car in a field through Monday morning cos leaving major event parking is always a bitch – I would’ve been reporting on the closest photo-finish we’ve seen in these here parts maybe ever! When the estimates came through that eve, the seemingly indefatigable Top Gun: Maverick and Baz Luhrmann’s trademark-ostentatious Elvis biopic were split over the #1 slot by just $176 in favour of Tom Cruise. What a hell of a finish that would’ve been; two films on $30 million, a major victory for Maverick and nothing to be ashamed of for the 160-minute (dear god) Elvis, and pure candy-coated gold for industry writers like myself who fancy themselves budding Secret Base employees!
Time, though, makes fools of us all… well, except for those of us who sacked off our work for a few days and come to these all Johnny-come-lately. In the days since, the actuals came out and not only revealed that this hard-fought battle of the Toms wasn’t actually as total a photo-finish as first appeared – Maverick and Elvis separated by $1.6 million rather than $176 – but also that Hanks came out on top rather than Cruise.
Elvis is your new #1 with $31.2 million whilst Maverick has to settle for #2 with $29.6 mil. Still, both sides of the war can walk out with their heads held high and reasons to celebrate. Elvis for being #1, obviously, but also for posting pretty strong numbers despite being aimed at a much older audience who have been inconsistent with going back to cinemas since everybody (wrongly) declared the pandemic to be done. Top Gun, meanwhile, is still posting near-$30 mil loads on its fifth weekend which is absolutely wild and, oh yeah, became only the second film since 2020 to break $1 billion worldwide the other day. Even when it loses, Top Gun still manages to steal the attention anyway. A true Maverick. *rimshot*
Just like with Formula 1, fixating on the duel at the top can blind folks to the equally as entertaining stories taking place in the midfield. In this case, analysts were predicting that rarest of sights: a Top 5 which all broke past $20 million. It wasn’t that far-fetched a possibility despite only happening six times before, since Jurassic World Dominion wasn’t falling too fast, Lightyear was last week’s #2 with over $50 million, and Scott Derrickson’s highly-buzzed horror throwback The Black Phone posted real solid previews on the Thursday.
Alas, history was not to be as, while Dominion and Black Phone held up their ends of the bargain (with Derrickson’s latest snugly settling into fourth with $23.6 million), Lightyear absolutely cratered in its sophomore go. A proper cratering, too, with a 64% drop. Sure, that was still more than enough for fifth place and $18 million isn’t nothing, but all-bar-one film below Lightyear is at least three weeks older and this is a $200 million Pixar film that Disney execs thought was the safe bet to send to cinemas. Just saying, Turning Red might not’ve blown it this badly.
READ MORE: Spanish Fly (1975) – Blu-ray Review
Lastly, in Limited Release, the indescribably adorable Marcel the Shell with Shoes On made the leap from sweet YouTube shorts to a full-fledged A24 big screen movie that HAS NO UK RELEASE DATE WHY DO A24 HATE ME SO?! In their eponymous feature, people across the entire US go crazy for Marcel and life has imitated art since Marcel posted a massive $169,606 taking for its opening weekend on 6 screens (a PTA of $28,267). And, yes, I will be complaining in this series every single week that a UK release has not been announced. Have you watched that trailer? I need this level of concentrated serotonin in my life!
Ladies and gentlemen and others, the Full List has left the building.
US Box Office Results: Friday 24th June 2022 – Sunday 26th June 2022
$31,211,579 / NEW
Was meant to go see this on Saturday with one of my Elvis-and-Baz-mad besties, but the heatwave did a number on both of our sleeping patterns so we chose the comfort of staying in bed for a few extra precious zzz’s rather than going through Luhrmann’s trademark overstimulated gaudiness. I’ll get to it soon enough.
$29,614,579 / $520,836,963
Biggest film of the year right now, having buzzed the tower that Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness resided in. I remain somewhat ambivalent about the film, but I do get the appeal so this doesn’t bother me so much. Gotta wonder what Paramount’s gonna do if Tom Cruise ever decides to high-tail it to another studio, though. Isn’t that the real thing he’s busy saving? Not cinema, just Paramount from insolvency.
3] Jurassic World Dominion
$26,729,510 / $303,065,330
The film is garbage, but I was pleasantly surprised to see Dichen Lachman pop up during the Malta sequence – the only fully enjoyable stretch of Dominion – and vamp the hell out of a useless villain sub-boss role for 15 minutes. She and Enver Gjokaj were fantastic in Dollhouse really should’ve become our go-to character actors.
4] The Black Phone
$23,633,220 / NEW
Got informed this week from Kelechi that Jordan Peele’s NOPE has been delayed to 12th August in the UK only and I have spent every free second of my time since then attempting to get through to Universal UK’s manager for the explanation we both deserve. WE’RE NOT MAD, WE JUST WANNA TALK.
$18,158,565 / $89,259,822
Maybe I’m just a real easy mark for this kind of space-based sci-fi, but I can’t help but feel like y’all are being way too harsh on Lightyear. Is it a great film? …honestly, no, but it is a very solid and very enjoyable little time which succeeds in its modest aims well enough. A lot of that final setpiece works gangbusters, as does the early Martian/Interstellar-esque sequence of hyper-speed fuel testing. We have, however, reached peak Taika Waititi. I like him, too, but it’s time to lay off the Taika for a bit.
$1,780,593 / $409,247,667
60%. In case you were wondering how much the Disney+ debut of Multiverse this weekend was going to affect the film’s Box Office. It dropped 60%.
7] Jug Jugg Jeeyo
$725,000 / NEW
Belatedly speaking of Kelechi Ehenulo, her coverage of Sundance London concluded with an effusive review of Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul which has my curiosity hooked just from the name alone.
8] Everything Everywhere All at Once
$533,346 / $66,088,446
It’s still Pride Month and Amy Walker has served up another batch of queer DC characters whose comic series you should go give a read! On a related note, Harley Quinn is FINALLY back next month! We queers stay winning, bitches!
9] The Bob’s Burgers Movie
$498,362 / $31,028,357
Belle is now available on Blu-ray. Go and buy Belle on Blu-ray. Do it. Do it now. Right now. Stop reading this and go and buy Mamoru Hosada’s extraordinarily phenomenal Belle on Blu-ray. Shaun Dewhirst has my back on this and we are going to nag you about it at every opportunity until you buy Belle on Blu-ray. Go and buy Belle on Blu-ray.
10] The Bad Guys
$455,865 / $95,503,890
Little housekeeping announcement: there’ll be no BOR next week on account of busy editorial schedules and a slight shortage of hands. We’ll be back in two weeks to see if the mighty Thor can fend off the deathless Minions.
Oh, and fuck the Supreme Court. Eat shit, you vile bastards.
Dropped out: Downton Abbey: A New Era, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Brian and Charles