Cabin is almost Knock-ed out by 80 for Brady, BTS came, The Not-So-Amazing Maurice, and Other Box Office News.
At last, we have a brand-new King/Queen of the Mountain. James Cameron and his blutopia have, after seven weeks of total dominance, been dethroned from the summit of the weekly Box Office chart, at least for seven days since I’m refusing to be snarky/cynical about the Titanic re-release’s chances of reclaiming #1 for old Jimmy boy. In its place, [INSERT PLAYED-OUT “WHAT A TWIST” JOKE HERE], it’s the latest M. Night Shyamalan, Knock at the Cabin, which makes sense given that it’s the first even-remotely name film to come out since M3GAN an entire month ago. (Yes, it is already/only February.)
However, it was a significantly closer battle than expected. Not because of Avatar, heck no, that thing’s down to $10.8 million; #FLOP #DEADMOVIE #NOCULTURALFOOTPRINT. Rather, because of our #2 film, old-people ‘comedy’ 80 for Brady. Theirs was a pitched skirmish which ended with Shyamalan clinging onto his record of #1 debuts post-The Visit, but doing so just barely and with the lowest opening weekend of his entire career (sans the debut feature we don’t talk about); $14.2 million with a “C” Cinemascore, his worst since The Last Airbender. By contrast, Brady spiked it into the second-place endzone with $12.5 million and an “A-” Cinemascore. Guess people really aren’t over Tom Brady’s bullshit yet. Perfect time for him to un-re-unretire and drive up sophomore weekend buzz! Those tickets aren’t gonna sell themselves!
READ MORE: Attachment – Film Review
One act which needs absolutely no aid in selling tickets by the eighteen-wheeler-load is BTS, who put out another one of their yearly concert movie experiences and proceeded to earn more cash than any other release PTA-wise this weekend. The ellipses on their career for the time being, due to South Korea’s mandatory military service requirements, Yet to Come in Cinemas – giggedy giggedy – blew up $6.2 million worth of dynamite for fifth place, and probably could’ve challenged Avatar for third place had it not burnt off a little demand by opening on a Wednesday.
A movie which didn’t burn off any demand, primarily as a result of it being put out by an independent distributor with zero marketing budget (and also the film not being good), was The Amazing Maurice. This long-gestating animated adaptation of the Terry Pratchett novel snuck its way onto an impressive 1,694 screens only to see audiences flee like those screens were infested by rats. Twelfth-place with $1,043,885 for a PTA of $616 worth of families who didn’t decide to go and see the much better animated cat movie playing next door instead.
The Full List always knocks twice.
US Box Office Results: Friday 3rd February 2023 – Sunday 5th February 2023
1] Knock at the Cabin
$14,200,000 / NEW
Not surprised to see this one struggling, especially when the “bury your gays” trope is apparently firmly baked into its entire premise even if it has been done to make a point – that’s pissing off two sides of the Culture War divide in entirely different ways for the price of one! Might give it a watch at some point, but likely when I’m less exhausted by queer stories which end poorly. If you’d like to see a mainstream queer film released by Universal where nobody dies or is threatened with death, then Bros is finally out on home media in the UK and worth a watch!
2] 80 for Brady
$12,500,000 / NEW
From what I can understand, or at least how LoadingReadyRun arranged the facts in their “Big Mid Quiz of the Year” on the subject, Tom Brady’s initial unretirement last year was the deciding factor in his supermodel wife Gisele Bündchen divorcing him shortly thereafter. Even if that’s not completely true, I’m choosing to believe it so because, much like believing that Andrew Tate got arrested solely due to his crippling need to dunk impotently on a literal child by ordering pizza, it’s just too perfect for reality to ruin. It’s the last scene of TÁR levels of dramatically-perfect comeuppance.
$10,800,000 / $636,420,442
In actual Avatar financial seriousness, The Numbers are reporting that Way of Water is trending a little behind Top Gun: Maverick at this point in its life cycle. There’s a non-zero chance that Cruise will end up beating out Cameron in the US, for an indicator of just how ridiculous Maverick’s run ended up being (as if the 20 weeks in the Top 10 weren’t enough of one). I’m sure that James Cameron will be devastated at losing out on being 2022’s biggest film in America. Sobbing nightly into his $2 billion worldwide take that Maverick couldn’t manage.
4] Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
$7,950,000 / $151,292,670
I’ve really enjoyed seeing Errant Signal branch out of purely video game essay circles, as of late. His latest video about our current plague of cinematic universe studio logos, like the one recently adopted by DreamWorks Animation, is a great dive into something not a lot of people put much thought into.
5] BTS: Yet to Come in Cinemas
$6,280,000 / $9,124,384 / NEW
I really like NewJeans. Like, REALLY like them. Does this mean I’m officially a K-Pop stan?
6] A Man Called Otto
$4,175,000 / $53,003,403
On our staff, we have a man called Sam (Judd) and he recently found himself talking to Gabrielle Russell, writer/director of folklore drama Deer Woman Child. It’s a really interesting chat about an interesting-sounding little film. You should check both out!
7] M3GAN
$3,800,000 / $87,597,375
Is this where I out myself as not being queer enough by saying that I didn’t find Saturday Night Live’s requisite M3GAN sketch funny, instead just kind of cringing awkwardly at the entire thing? Cos, err… sorry?
8] Missing
$3,725,000 / $23,017,094
We recently instituted an official 0-star rating here at Set the Tape, for usage only on the most irredeemable or offensive or disgusting works to stumble into our inbox. Amy Walker didn’t use that nuclear option on .com for Murder, but, based on the messages she left in the group chat, she came real damn close.
9] The Chosen: Season 3 Finale
$3,641,538 / $5,308,245 / NEW
That’s $3.4 million-worth of people less than the number who turned out to watch the double-bill season premiere in cinemas last November. No additional snark or point to this. Just a little Fun Fact for you!
10] Pathaan
$2,709,905 / $14,278,188
Lee Thacker did not enjoy Rob Zombie’s take on The Munsters.
Dropped out: Plane, Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist, Infinity Pool, The Wandering Earth II