Film Reviews

Ouija Shark 2 – Film Review

Let’s not be under any illusions (not that the title is likely to leave you with man): Ouija Shark 2 (aka Ouija Shark vs. Tarot Gator) is not a good film. It is, in fact, unbelievably terrible. But unlike the previously reviewed Cocaine Shark, it delivers exactly what the title promises – Ouija boards and the sharks summoned thereby. There is also a giant alligator summoned by tarot cards, because how else are you going to summon a giant alligator to fight a demonic shark? They don’t exactly advertise on Craigslist.

Also unlike Cocaine Shark, this movie hits that sweet spot, that special blend of campiness and sincerity that elevates it from merely bad to solidly so bad it’s good. Ouija Shark 2 is dreadful. And you should watch it. Preferably with some friends and your alcohol of choice.

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Our story opens with Anthony (played by writer/director/actor John Migliore (Creature from Cannibal Creek, Exorcism of the Dead) providing new arrivals to the story a quick recap of the events of the first film while fighting off evil demonic gorillas in hell. Because hell is gorillas, apparently. Funny, I could have sworn it was other people.

Anyway, to sum up for those who skipped the first film, the basic plot is that a group of teenage girls summon a demonic man-eating shark after playing around with a ouija board they found on the beach. As you do. This leads to shenanigans, and the father of one of the girls ends up trapped in the spirit world after banishing the demonic shark back to whence it came.

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We then switch to Anthony’s ex-wife Cressida, (Deborah Jayne Reilly Smith – Creature from Cannibal Keep, viSitor) as she visits psychic medium Illyana (Kylie Gough – Ouija Shark) to try and contact him, but he can’t come to the phone right now as the demonic gorillas are keeping him busy! So when the medium fails you, the obvious choice is to move straight to necromancy! And wouldn’t you know it, Illyana’s mother Terra (Lena Montecalvo – Exorcism of the Dead, Shortbread) just so happens to be one. Holy plot convenience, Batman!

One demonic musical number later (including the line “I’m a hit in Hades, with the ladies”), Anthony is freed from hell, but so is the shark, returning once again to rampage around the city, destroying everything in its path! While there is some CGI used in this movie, mostly for the Dr Strange-esque spells, with our heroes spinning tarot cards as they shoot fireballs at their demonic foes neither the shark nor the gator are VFX. Oh no.

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What we get instead is the most awesome and adorable kaiju puppet fight since Kaiju Big Battel was a thing. It’s ludicrously daft, and helped along by the deadpan observations of a random man standing at his window, eating popcorn as he comments on the destruction in the same sort of way you might observe the colour of the paint on your ceiling.

It’s difficult to encompass in one review just how terrible this film is. It’s so low budget even classic Dr Who looks like a shiny Hollywood blockbuster by comparison. It’s so camp you could pitch tents on it. So cheesy you could top it with pepperoni and call it a pizza. It’s so goofy Disney might sue for copyright infringement. Too far? Okay, I’ll stop now.

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But you know what it isn’t? It’s never boring. It’s never po-faced. It never takes itself too seriously and it never tries to pretend two people are in the same room when they obviously aren’t! It’s a ludicrous concept and the cast embraces and runs with it, taking everything from the first film and turning the dials up just that bit higher.

The acting, as a whole, is serviceable, if a bit on the wooden side at times, apart from Anthony. Anthony is amazing. He delivers lines like “Apart we will always be vulnerable, but together we’re TAROTFORCE” with absolute sincerity. And then they all wiggle their hands so they can VFX in the spinning totally-not-Dr-Strange magic effects.

Fans of B-movie shlock should absolutely check this out. Hell, it’s worth it for the musical number alone.

Ouija Shark 2 is out now on Digital release in the US.

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